REVERSE INTERVENTION
[Claire, Jim, and Mike are standing next to each other center stage. A lone chair is sitting center stage]
Claire: Listen, I want to thank you all for coming. Now, he should be here in just a minute so we need to be prepared.
Jim: Thank, Claire. As you all are probably aware, Steven has undergone some changes in the past six months. This new “lifestyle” of his is just plain… unacceptable. And I decided to gather his closest friends together to address the problem head on. [looks out off the stage] Okay, I think that’s him. Just remember that his actions have been separating him from us, that we care about him, and want him to return to being the friend we once had.
[Steven enters stage right]
Steven: Hey, guys!
Jim: Glad you could make it.
Steven: It’s no problem. Happy Birthday, Jim.
Jim: It’s not my birthday.
Steven: Wait. Claire, I thought you said this was a birthday party for Jim.
Claire: I did, but that’s not the reason I asked you to come. Steven, we all have something very important we need to discuss with you.
Steven: What?
Jim: To put it simply, this is an intervention.
Steven: What?! An inter… wait… Oh, this is a joke! Wow, you guys really got me.
Claire: This isn’t a joke, Steven. We’re serious.
Steven: An intervention?
[Everybody nods]
Steven: I’m confused…
Jim: Please, sit down.
Steven: Okay…
Jim: Steven, we’ve all noticed some changes in you recently and we need to talk to you about them.
Steven: Changes?
Jim: Well, for starters, we wanted to talk to you about your drinking.
Steven: [annoyed] Drinking? I haven’t had a drop of alcohol in six months.
Jim: We would like you to START drinking again.
Steven: What?! Are you out of your minds?! You WANT me to drink?!
Jim: Calm down, we understand that this can be difficult to deal with but you have a problem.
Steven: How is drinking not a problem?!
Jim: The “problem” as you put it is you aren’t the guy we used to know. You aren’t fun anymore.
Steven: Fun?! You call waking up on a roof hung over and missing pants fun?!
Group: [simultaneously] Yeah.
Steven: [sarcastically] Nothing like a depressant to chase the blues away.
Group: [simultaneously] Exactly.
Steven: I can’t believe I’m hearing this. This can not be why I’m here.
Jim: Well, it’s not the only reason. Claire, I believe you had something you wanted to say.
Claire: Steven, when’s the last time you smoked pot?
Steven: It’s been months.
Claire: That’s my point. You haven’t smoked pot with us in months.
Steven: I don’t want to have anything to do with that stuff anymore. It’s just wrong.
Claire: What are you talking about?
Steven: Well, for starters, it’s illegal but besides the OBVIOUS point, God doesn’t really want me doing that. Not to mention I don’t think that sitting around for three hours eating Cheetos debating “what makes a couch a couch” is what I want to do with my life.
[Group groans]
Steven: If that’s it, I’ll be leaving.
[Steven gets up off the chair to leave but Jim stops him]
Jim: Wait. I know that Mike had something he wanted to address. Go ahead, Mike.
Mike: Steven, we used to go out to the bars and clubs and pick up girls and… Well, you know… I miss that, man. Don’t you?
Steven: [upset] Miss it?! Are you insane?! Miss convincing some drunk girl to sleep with me?! Miss waking up in the morning to regret, a shattered heart, and the constant fear of the consequences of my actions?! Miss the depression and the guilt?! Are youpeople blind?! Six months ago, Christ saved me from all this nonsense! Thanks to Him, I have a life worth living! I don’t need to fill my life with booze or pot or women because I’ve found peace.
Jim: Calm down, Steven, we’re your friends. We’re here because we care. We’ve all discussed this and we want you to go to Rehab.
Steven: [taken back] Rehab?
Jim: Yeah. It’s the new bar down on 5th andMain.
Steven: You people are impossible! I’ve tried but I can’t put up with this anymore!
[Steven leaves stage right]
Mike: What do we do now?
Jim: There isn’t anything we can do. Some people just can’t face the fact that they have a problem. [pauses] Who wants to go to Rehab and get drunk?
[Group agrees and leaves stage left]
This script is property of Prodigal 15 Productions.
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